j-e-n-d-o-l

jam menunjukkan jam 1.43pagi dan aku masih lagi tak boleh tidur walaupon...

sakit kepala+stress+sedih+marah=silence.

aku hari ni mood macam kurang okeh.aku rasa gila sunyi dan perlukan sedikit ruang dan waktu untuk diri aku.aku ingat lagi kalau aku sedih aku suke tengok movie laila isabella,sebab citer ni sama macam aku dulu.serius aku sangat merindui diri aku yang lama yang orang tak perlu nak fuck pasal life aku,dari sekarang banyak aku makan hati dan sakit hati-my favourite quote-sebab nak jaga hati orang,hati aku macam sampah..dan sekarang hati aku macam sampah.

cd laila isabella aku dah hilang dah dekat 2tahun so aku gilalah dan psycho cd ni hilang,macam haram jer.aku sanggup tengok citer ni kat youtube.yang penting aku ada entertainment aku balik.

aku suke watak laila dalam citer ni cos macam diri aku yang dulu.aku rindu baju2 lama aku,aku nyer seluar lobos,aku nyer cap,rambut pendek aku.waah 2tahun aku berubah..
kadangkala aku tanya pada hati aku..happy tak aku?
mungkin ya mungkin tidak..
takper-aku selalu tepuk dada tanya hati!!!

"minum cendol hari sabtu memang dasar kepala batu"
macam tuhlah perangai aku.

yang penting ada aku kisah?

bi-su

aku berdiri tegak seperti tiang yang kadangkala aku tidak tahu bila tiba masanya akan jatuh.
ketika aku sedang berdiri,maka datanglah angin yang meniup bayang-bayang manusia.
aku sedang kaku..
berjalan hingga kearah tiada penghujungnya.
hari ini aku melakar lukisan wajah,mungkin tak sehebat pelukis terkenal.



lalu,aku mula berbicara pada kata-kata dunia,
hidup tak semua yang kita dambarkan..
tidak seindah hikayat lagenda..
tidak seperti cerita tentang Adam.

tapi aku masih lagi keseorangan.
melakar sejarah hidup yang tiada kata-kata teman.
sedang aku penat dan lelah.
aku mula senyap.
lihatlah - takdir itu amat bisu,
dan aku cuma sebahagian dari "ceritanya"

love at first sight

both are convinced
that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.
beautiful is such a certainty,
but uncertainty is more beautiful.

because they didn't know each other earlier,they suppose that
nothing was happening between them.
what of the streets,stairways and corridors
where they could have passed each other long ago?

i'd like to ask them
whether they remember--perhaps in a revolving door
ever being face to face?
an "excuse me" in a crowd
or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver.
but i know their answer:
no,they don't remember.

they'd be greatly astonished
to learn that for a long time
chance had been playing with them.

not yet wholly ready
to transform into fate for them
it approached them, then backed off,
stood in their way
and, suppressing a giggle,
jumped to the side.

there were sings,signals:
but what of it if they were illegible.
perhaps three years ago,
or last Tuesday
did a certain leaflet fly
from shoulder to shoulder?
there was something lost and picked up.
who knows but what it was a ball
in the bushes of childhood.

there were doorknobs and bells
or which earlier
touched piled on touch.
bags beside each other in the luggage room.
perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,
suddenly erased after waking.

every beginning
is but a continuation,
and the book of events
is never more than half open.

Love at first sight by wislawa Szymborska

no conversation

for the first time I don't know what i should write in my blog..

i have no ideas, and no words can describe my language.

today i sit with a different emotion not like before this i wrote what i felt.

no attention that i can get anymore.

today, god answered my prayer-unfortunately i'm frustrated for this moment.

i don't know and i don't want to know..

here..i speak alone, no conversation and no friend to talk.

i just only have memory in my mind..

life can "Y.O.U" change my destiny?

unexpected

here i learn about gambling of my life.

its 9.55pm now and i feel too tired because of so many things i have to catch up about architecture.

i still thinking about what happened to me today and unexpected call from Shirley.
i don't want to talk about shirley.

for me, she is not professional because of she cannot accept my opinion regarding our new project in Sungai Besi. I just gave my opinion and what i think is the best for this project. Unfortunately, i had a bad conversation with Shirley and she said that i have no experience. we just talked about a new concept of proposal, Thats all.Is it wrong if I wanna share with her what i learnt from razif.

sometimes,people always not appreciate what we do for them and until one day its hurt our feeling.

reminder,
what you did it doesn't mean you can get it back.

I wonder if time has changed the way i am.

Thinking,
what i think now is should i quit from this job?

sometimes i don't want to- but its unexpected.

zulkarnain tidal

guess who sms me just now?

zulkarnain tidal-ajad's bestfriend,and he asked me how long have i been missing in fb..i closed my fb account because i have my own reason and he's no need to know about that.10 months i have been missing in fb.

i ask myself-is it anyone care about me?

i ask myself again-do you remember me?

*action speak louder than words*

should i?

my new journey - new hope and new environment.

today i start my new job with arkitek tressie yap.first think on my mind.what should i do today? only me and peng wei in the office?damn!!
let me introduce my new friend,peng wei. He's 32 years old and still single but not available.peng wei is a project architect and he so friendly with me.

my first day- now i still draft design for our new project in sungai besi, and the problem is no internet in my office so i cannot open email that tressie send to me.
and then i got a problem with my lunch time-serious i have no choices and i don't know what to eat.

what i feel now?nothing - I don't know what to say but at least i try to improve myself.

i ask myself again..

should i give up?

*unspoken*