september 1, 2010

today i start my new job as research analyst. It's not easy to catch all of this in one day, and the best part lot of things i've learn from here. The environment was okay and not like my past experience with architecture firm.
today, got two new staff including me. I was the only one Malay girl here.
All staff here more to indian girls. but no discrimination here.
I like to learn how to do report from Geena. She's preety and kind of girl.
I think I would like my new job.
I can see my natural smile and perhaps my smile can makes me more confident with myself. I got a new name here. Because I cannot used my real name and this is one of the rules.
Today is September 1, 2010. I cannot waiting for hari raya cos i wanted to meet my special one. Yes, I'm happy with my life now.
I can take a new fresh air in my life. No more complain and hope i can do it better for my career.
This is the part of my life and i promise with myself i can do it and give a good performance in my career.
As i wish, i feel calm and happy =)

special people

Isn't it funny how some special people don't realize they're special at all?
they're thoughtful without even thinking about it. They're always right there when you call..
they share, not expecting a thing in return, yet always seem richer for giving isn't it lovely..
How those special people can teach us so much about living!
You're someone very special who can brighten any day with all the thoughtful, loving things you often do and say.. who you're someone very special,
who adds such joys to living and that is why you're loved so much..
for the joy you're always giving..

happy =)

i feel so happy rite now and i cannot stop smiling.
dear lord thanks for today. i don't know how to describe my feeling now.
for the first time i start to smiling back.
and the great things is i found back my real life.
now i just can say.

ya allah aku bersyukur dan sentiasa redha dengan ujian mu.
amin

move on

there's so much unknown in my life now. It's time for me to move on from this place.
my true place is not here maybe somewhere else. Anything can change in four months i have been here. i learn and i sometimes i feel so tired with people who really like judge my mental with a stupid things.sort of things like a small problem and i think is not worth it to stay here. I already packing my bag and inside my bag full with my paperwork, my design and my first building sketch.
i just want to make my life happy and i am really sure with my decision that i want quit from architect firm. No matter how, i still with my decision and no ones can change my decision.
now it's time for me to move on from my bad dream.
wake up and build a new life and maybe after this i can get better opportunity in my life. Cos i always believe in miracle.

fired

yesterday my boss fired me and the reason she fired me because she said that she are not satisfied with my performance.i guess the main reason came form shirley, cos why suddenly my boss still argue with me about stationary.it just a small things and no need to always complain with my boss.

today i feel like i don't want come to office and take all my things. i don't want to see my boss face because i lost my respect with my boss. and wayne he just pretend that he doesn't know anything. i don't like the way my boss judge me and like to compare me with another people.i have no problem with my past jobs. and the most i miss now is encik razif. yesterday we sms and i feel so down.he still the best boss that i have, he gave me advise and i still remember what he told me before. he was glad that i am taking charge of my working life and he hope i will be able to develop further where i'm going.

my heart not with me, it just my body sit in front of my pc and i pretend that anything never happen.i am wrong cos it makes me feel so down.
today i miss the moment working with CSSD team.we grow together.i think biotech is much better than here.

now i am not happy with my job and make me think twice.
actually what i really wanted in my life?
is it i attempt to get it?
i cannot create my destiny but i can have my own fate.
dear lord, give me a clue and make me happy with my life.
i need my happiness back cos i am not happy with what i have now.
it doesn't mean that i'm not grateful what i have now, but i just want something new that can improve my life.

just thinking if i can turn back the time that i leave biotech the first person i want to says i would like to stay working with him is encik razif.
i miss the way he talk, the way he advise me, the way he smile.
i wish i can see him again and be one of his team.

bila aku bengang

hari ni tah apa lancau malang gila nasib aku,dimulakan dengan morning mad by tressie.
kene maki pasal bende bodoh.aku rase gila nak hentak dia pakai tong air.huhuhu.
jahat dow buli aku.ikshhh apa ar kau ni,aku ramai gak kenal dengan cina,tapi kau macam haram lagi ar kan.tuh lah asyik bagi benda non halal jer kat aku.ingat aku makan piggy ker weh.grrrrrrrrrrr.
depress jer mood aku kan.tadi aku gila sedih now aku dah okay.
si peng wei asyik tanya aku okeh ker tak.aku kalau tak okeh mesti aku taknak cakap ar.
sebab kerja kat sini aku dah tak happy good lucky mcm dulu.bongoknyer company.
lantaklah aku nak cakap aperkan,aku nak apply cuti raya pon nak cut gaji aku.weh 300 tuh ingat tak banyak ker untuk cuti 2hari.melampau gila...
lepas tuh sebab jer dengar si shirley tuh.memang gile jahat shirley tuh pasal kau aku tak dapat permenant plus aku kene warning letter.

*suhana hamdan*
apa kata kau tolong aku letak tikus dalam beg boss aku.geram plak aku ni ha.

harap-harap cepat ar aku dapat kerja baru.buang penat masa dan tenaga aku jer kerja sini,tapi orang tak hargai.melampau-lampau bila aku senyap pijak kepala.
shirley tuh memang nak kene hentak dengan aku ni,hari tuh aku dah bagi warning kat dia nak lagi usik aku,salah orang ar shirley kau nak kenekan aku.

*shirley lie*
aku rase kau tak hebat lagi sebab kau tak dapat buat aku berenti.sebba tuh kau bengang kan?kalau cikgu yang aku tak suke dulu boleh kene berenti sebab aku,setakat kau,lebih dari tuh boleh aku buat.

pasal kerja kat sini,aku selalu tertekan,naik mental aku.

*arifin ramli aka ipin*
sorry hari tuh aku emo jangan terasa dengan aku babe,aku time tuh jiwa kacau dengan tekanan macam ni..

lepas ni korang tengok ar aku ajar korang cukup-cukup.tak guna bagi muka.melampau.
kalau boleh nak langgar musuh2 aku dengan train

ehh biarlah

tahu tak aku rasa apa hari ni?
aku rasa macam nak lari sekuat hati sebab aku happy...............
jangan tanya kenapa,aku kedekot nak cerita sebab aku dah berapa lama tak happy kan.
buat kata mak aku janganlah kedekot.
hahahahah.

when i woke up this morning i feel like princess who waiting for the price charming.
dah-dah fara jangan kau nak berangan.ikshhh.kau ingat ni cite cinderella ker?ataupon cita barbie.hahahaha.

aku suka satu lagu ni dari bittersweet-perfect match.
suhana bagi kat aku.

ouh lupa nak kenalkan aku ada sorang kawan baru nama dia suhana hamdan,nama glamer dia ana. rase nak jer aku nyanyi lagu kat dia-keroncong untuk ana.
bila aku tengok dia teringat diri aku yang lama,dia ni gila cool okeh.aku suke kawan dengan dia,sebab dia baik,tak mengelabah,cakap ikot suke.dan dia adalah seorang kawan yang caring.bertuah saper dapat kawen dgn ko ana.hahahaha

dahlah masa untuk tido. i love bantal busuk