If I could pretend that I'm asleep,
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls..
I think nobody knows..

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


tomorrow is public holiday after Najib announced it last night. Congratulation to Harimau Malaya =) Today is not a good day for me cos having a bad mood since everything is not gonna be alright. My intention out of minds cos the truth is i always thinking about my salary since this morning. Just have two more days before new year and may god bless in whatever i do. Just hope for the best luck of my life.
Seriously, i am really disappointing with my career now and feels likes everything is not the right time.

Just hope tomorrow can makes me smile ;) and i wish for that

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas dinner

hari rabu hari tu tepat kol 6 petang aku ngan ninie bajet gile hot lah en, macam orang gile tak habis2 snap gambar before pegi Christmas dinner. time tuh fauzi budak IT Engineer kita orang baru masuk. dengan bangganya fauzi bajet dia lagi hot.sambil berangan-angan nak tinggi macam kita orang.gahahahha.fauzi lepas ni kau tolong pakai high heels okeh babe.

time ni dengan tak boleh blar eza terselit-selit kat celah bedah sebab nak gak posing. dalam ni muka fauzi macam wah ko sangat bapak ayam.gahahah "jangan amek hati fauzi", kang kene jual.

Time ni kat restoran pusing-pusing weh aku gayat weh naik tinggi macam ni. makan pulak aku suke ikan salmon letak limau.perghh terbaik dari ladang babe.

dengan muka sangat confident aku dengan ninie tunggu boss aku.takper tunggu berbaloi cos naik bmw x5 duk sebelah boss.meriahhh u olllsss.

now aku ngah tunggu fauzi yang sedang makan kat fatimah restaurant sambil aku duk kat opis sorang2.

Friday, December 17, 2010

dance in the wind

Life is ain't easy to be pretanding cos sometimes it can be more than unexpectation.

I enjoyed watching the leaves dance in the wind, and I wished that I too could be borne up and dance with them in mid-air, because they seemed so joyful - and I too wanted to share that joy.

I imagine our lives to be like these leaves, borne in the air with joy - and never knowing in their beautiful dance where exactly they were destined to be.

I could only wish you were here and holds my hand slowly. Remembering the way you holds me softly. My desire wanted to be with you.

Now I start to walking and crawling
I take step by step to start movement from the dance floor.

A r e y o u g e t i t ?

Friday, December 10, 2010

1:35 am and I miss you

Is 1:35 am and I miss you a lot Yem.

Do you still remember to this picture that you given to me when I so frustrated with my work.

I miss the way you smile at me.
Do you still remember the first time we met?
At that time, I never stop looking into your eyes.
How beautiful are you in my life :)

I was afraid if tomorrow I never wake up again to see your beautiful smile sayang.

How important are you in my life Yem.
Yes I admit now that I really miss you.







It takes more than one month i haven't updated my blog since i had joined MVD for a few months ago. Today i have received offer letter from my boss and my minds never stop thinking about my future. Thats what i wanted is it? i asked myself again and again until i notice that actually i take a wrong step to be here. Do you imagine I just 22 years old young lady and very committed with my work and office is like my second home. Most of my time and life i spent at office. Many of my friends are really enjoying their life and not like me that have to sit in front of my laptop and always up to date with my report at time to time.

From local to overseas report and all the report i have done with the best achievement of my life especially Weststar report. Can you imagine, ex - student for Business Management can do report and make a research pertaining Sikorsky s67c++ and learning about the job scope of aircraft license engineer. Is ain't easy for me for the first time i received the report. The report was teach me how to recall and remember every keywords of engines that i have must to know.

Today is the last day for Baldwin worked with us. She growth up together with me since we had joined MVD. Now I feel so lonely and no ones can teach me English to improve myself.

I take a deep breath and I start thinking..
"Why people always comes & people always go?"
maybe my words cannot impress my mentality of minds but the truth is I can feel it in my life. I am too stressful since last month and Yem always told me do the best that I can to make improvement in my life because he knows that I can do much better if I know what my target.

Dear Life,
If I can retake all the moment that i have before. Can I have for the second life that can teach me how to be tough person in her life.

Dear Myself,
You do not stand by alone and u have to know that you have Yem & Ipin who always support you and they always be there to waiting for your success. Yem, he always believes that myself can be reach high target of my life.

Don't give up with my life and stand like a winner Farah ;)

Friday, October 29, 2010

can't be moved

'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving..

-The Script-

Do you how much i care about him? Until when he get hurt I'll try to make him happy.
Do you know why i can't be moved from this his love because i cannot touch your heart without answer your minds.

A few minutes ago, i just thinking and stand in front of the mirror. When I touched the mirror, i just saw myself and the behind of me is him. waiting me with a big smile. Do you know how much i missing him, however he just mentioned my name with the illusion of hearts.

People talk about the girl that's waiting on a guy.
But I'm not moving from this place.

I'm waiting you now.
Where are you love?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Happy birthday farah and hope all your wish come true.

I just back from celebrate my birthday with yem, bella & ultraman. Thanks guys for today and i'm having the best mood for tonight. I had received present from yem. Thanks yem for the birthday present and i really like the watch. I know the watch it's quite expensive even though you are not telling me the price of the watch.

This is first time i upload my pictures with yem =) He's adorable~

When I'm looking at you it's mean I miss you..

but the way, thanks Bella because snap this pictures even though I am not looking great in this pictures.

Yem, Bella & Ultraman so many thanks to you guys cos make my day more happy today.
I love you guys =)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

faggot gigi ku

tadi waktu sebok gosok gigi, aku sebok tengok gigi aku yang agak tak cantik.yup aku takder gigi yang cantik gara-gara aku penah jatuh dulu.aku selalu berangan kalau aku pakai braces nanti mesti aku akan ada gigi yang cantik. tapi mak kata nanti aku akan nampak lebih kurus dari sekarang dan akan jadi sangat tak cantik.aku sedar aku memang tak pon tak cantik kalau kurus lagi sure tak cantikkan?

aku selalu berangan nak nak pakai braxes yang ada kaler2 macam2 supaya nanti senang nanti gigi aku malam2 ada macam2 warna. ummmm.

dalam fikiran aku sekarang aku cuma fikir satu jer.
kenapa kadangkala orang tak boleh terima kekurangan diri aku?
aku tahu aku tak cantik cuma kadangkala aku tak boleh jadi apa yang orang lain impikan.
sebab aku kan tak sempurna.
tapi aku akan try buat braces tu secepat mungkin, walaupon sakit kata jijie,sebab jijie tadi betolkan braces dia,dia selalu kata menyesal buat braces sakit sangat2.
tapi takper aku beranikan diri nak gak pakai braces tuh.
sebab aku taknak orang ejek lagi gigi aku tak cantik macam gigi arnab.

Ipin, betol ker aku tak cantik? sebab gigi aku?

ipin gigi aku ada macam ni tak?

nikon D80

10.2 megapixel Nikon DX format CCD imaging sensor: Effectively optimized by Nikon to deliver a wide, dynamic range, producing outstanding images with high resolution and vivid detail yielding 3,872 x 2,592-pixel files.

I Fall in love with Nikon D80

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


i woke up this morning with a small pieces of hope that i just wonder what if today never comes.Perhaps, today i can be a better person with a new words of confident.

Like usual, I send morning messages to yem. Pity with him, cos he got food poisoning again.I'm really miss him so much cos never meet him since last week. Today is the day, maybe i can call it as anniversary. Happy anniversary yem =) hope you always happy with me. I do miss you again because now i got no time to be with you. Just reminded that you still have mine in your heart. Even though you rarely say you love me, but it doesn't mean that you have to show everything because action speak louder than words.

Is 2.00pm now and i was wondering, why you not reply my messages and return my call.You makes me more worried dear. But i just realize that i can't live without you even for one second.

Now, I just continue doing my work and perhaps you will be okay syg =)
i miss you so badly.

yes i do

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.

it's you

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

perasaan itu tak berapa sesedih

aku dah sepuluh hari demam,dengan flu macam hampeh dengan aku nyer batok ala rock star.
sejak akhir ni aku asyik mengidam dan kuat makanlah.aku melepaskan stress kerja dengan makan tanpa hiraukan perasaan orang kampung yang suka aku jadi ratu kebaya.ekekeke.
macam bangang jer ayat aku macamlah aku cun sangatkan angkat bakul sendiri.
kak siti pon satu suka sangat tag kat fb aku gambar masakan dia sampai aku terliur dan kadangkala ada sampai termimpi mimpi makanan tuh.contohnya macam cake cokelat yang kak siti masak tuh.

hari sabtu hari tuh,aku naik gila shopping sampai duit aku dah cetek.sorry yem aku guna ayat kau cetek.ekekekek.tapi al-kisahnya aku ada nampak satu beg sekolah yang sangat comel,beg domokun tuh memang cun kaler purple.tapi aku tak jadi beli sebab aku beli short akulah sangat frustkan tak dapat beli beg tuh sebab kene simpan duit.beg domo ouh beg domo kenapa kau goda aku ah?

*sedang guling guling kat lantai mengenang nasib kempunan beg mono =(

Sunday, October 17, 2010


one day i was screaming like hell and no ones hear my sound.
i scream again but now no one's there to hear my voice.
i was the one who really like to run away from the problem that i have facing just now.

i screaming again cos i am stress with my job.
I'm unhappy because i have to stay back everyday and after that my dad do not understand what's my problem. he doesn't know what i do everyday, but he just know that my face can tell him 101 stories without i telling him.

i just hoping that i never say t.i.r.e.d. But i did..


we like to talk about something's different.
we are not same. what we do is totally are not same.
so many different until one day we stand together and realize..
"maybe we come from a different world, different emotion and different feelings"
but once i'm looking at you.
the whole world stop and looking at you too.
because you stand in the middle world and says " i like you even though you are different from me"..

p/s : i miss you thats why i stole your picture just now =)

what is love?

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Friday, October 8, 2010

tak suka

what a bad day i have today,starting with my morning with no smile cause i am late go to office..thank god my boss is not coming when i reach at office.
And i received a Friday surprise from my senior. Guess what? a new report from my senior.

just hope someone can make me smile

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I'm stress and I need more coffee.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

today when i was here

just being tired for a few weeks and perhaps i can feel better with my new job.
unfortunately, i was the one who always handle a new cases from overseas.sometimes i feel so down when try to solve a new's not easy to be research analyst and office is my second home for me. My friends,most of them felt that i'm ignore them cos sometimes i have no time to hang out with my friends.
My life is not like before, my routine is facing with a new client.and the most i hating is when the candidates give me a stupid screening background.

My life now is more better cos i have someone who really like care about me. He makes me feel appreciated. Yesterday i went for family gathering and i got three missed call from papa because i am totally forgot that i have promise papa to join the gathering.However when i was too busy, no reminder for myself and it always happened now.

Is 6.27pm now and i still seat in front of my laptop with lot of paperworks.More than 13 paperworks still pending and incomplete.I think I need a time for myself and have to release my stress at gym. Honestly speaking i feel tired with my job.
Not ain't easy to be here. Have to know how to control your stress. I just imagine now, how lucky i am if my love was here with me.
At least his smile can make my day more wonderful.

I always wish you were here and give me a beautiful smile. enough i think because now i never regret. Never.

Monday, September 27, 2010


I'm too shy to show my face because deep inside my heart i always be your stalker.
I love you =) can i?

I love you =)

can I hold your hand?

Sunday, September 26, 2010


“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Friday, September 24, 2010

ajad and ajad

it's unexpected after one year he disappear from my life and finally for today he come back looking for me. I really miss the moment with my sunshine cos i never forget you even though you are not mine but our memory still together and deep inside in my mind you always be the number one. No ones can replace you, because you always be the first.
ajad i feel so happy cos you looking for me back after the last our conversation.

Do you still remember the first time we met? the first time we went for break fasting in Shah Alam? I miss the moment with you and now i'm happy cos finally you found someone that can makes you happy. Perhaps, you always appreciate what u have.
Same goes to me and now i'm happy cos i found someone that can make me happy.

ajad thanks for everything and finally even though i am late to wish your birthday but i never forget your birthday. Happy belated Birthday my sunshine =)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

selamat hari raya~

salam aidilfitri

elite gundam

i want this!!!!!
this is elite Gundam’s Robot (5-inch) can think of residing only in the hearts of elite community.
just $ 250,000

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

gile raya

aku macam dah malas nak keje sebab mood raya aku dah melampau-lampau bayangkanlah semua india aku sorang jer melayu.huhuhuhu.
yeahhh aku sebenarnya tak sabar nak raya,harap raya tahun ni penuh bermakna.
niat aku tahun ni..

better jaga-jaga.


One words can i tell you now,

but can i write your heart?

"I miss you".

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

september 1, 2010

today i start my new job as research analyst. It's not easy to catch all of this in one day, and the best part lot of things i've learn from here. The environment was okay and not like my past experience with architecture firm.
today, got two new staff including me. I was the only one Malay girl here.
All staff here more to indian girls. but no discrimination here.
I like to learn how to do report from Geena. She's preety and kind of girl.
I think I would like my new job.
I can see my natural smile and perhaps my smile can makes me more confident with myself. I got a new name here. Because I cannot used my real name and this is one of the rules.
Today is September 1, 2010. I cannot waiting for hari raya cos i wanted to meet my special one. Yes, I'm happy with my life now.
I can take a new fresh air in my life. No more complain and hope i can do it better for my career.
This is the part of my life and i promise with myself i can do it and give a good performance in my career.
As i wish, i feel calm and happy =)

Friday, August 27, 2010

special people

Isn't it funny how some special people don't realize they're special at all?
they're thoughtful without even thinking about it. They're always right there when you call..
they share, not expecting a thing in return, yet always seem richer for giving isn't it lovely..
How those special people can teach us so much about living!
You're someone very special who can brighten any day with all the thoughtful, loving things you often do and say.. who you're someone very special,
who adds such joys to living and that is why you're loved so much..
for the joy you're always giving..

Thursday, August 26, 2010

happy =)

i feel so happy rite now and i cannot stop smiling.
dear lord thanks for today. i don't know how to describe my feeling now.
for the first time i start to smiling back.
and the great things is i found back my real life.
now i just can say.

ya allah aku bersyukur dan sentiasa redha dengan ujian mu.

move on

there's so much unknown in my life now. It's time for me to move on from this place.
my true place is not here maybe somewhere else. Anything can change in four months i have been here. i learn and i sometimes i feel so tired with people who really like judge my mental with a stupid things.sort of things like a small problem and i think is not worth it to stay here. I already packing my bag and inside my bag full with my paperwork, my design and my first building sketch.
i just want to make my life happy and i am really sure with my decision that i want quit from architect firm. No matter how, i still with my decision and no ones can change my decision.
now it's time for me to move on from my bad dream.
wake up and build a new life and maybe after this i can get better opportunity in my life. Cos i always believe in miracle.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


yesterday my boss fired me and the reason she fired me because she said that she are not satisfied with my performance.i guess the main reason came form shirley, cos why suddenly my boss still argue with me about just a small things and no need to always complain with my boss.

today i feel like i don't want come to office and take all my things. i don't want to see my boss face because i lost my respect with my boss. and wayne he just pretend that he doesn't know anything. i don't like the way my boss judge me and like to compare me with another people.i have no problem with my past jobs. and the most i miss now is encik razif. yesterday we sms and i feel so down.he still the best boss that i have, he gave me advise and i still remember what he told me before. he was glad that i am taking charge of my working life and he hope i will be able to develop further where i'm going.

my heart not with me, it just my body sit in front of my pc and i pretend that anything never happen.i am wrong cos it makes me feel so down.
today i miss the moment working with CSSD team.we grow together.i think biotech is much better than here.

now i am not happy with my job and make me think twice.
actually what i really wanted in my life?
is it i attempt to get it?
i cannot create my destiny but i can have my own fate.
dear lord, give me a clue and make me happy with my life.
i need my happiness back cos i am not happy with what i have now.
it doesn't mean that i'm not grateful what i have now, but i just want something new that can improve my life.

just thinking if i can turn back the time that i leave biotech the first person i want to says i would like to stay working with him is encik razif.
i miss the way he talk, the way he advise me, the way he smile.
i wish i can see him again and be one of his team.

Monday, August 23, 2010

bila aku bengang

hari ni tah apa lancau malang gila nasib aku,dimulakan dengan morning mad by tressie.
kene maki pasal bende bodoh.aku rase gila nak hentak dia pakai tong air.huhuhu.
jahat dow buli aku.ikshhh apa ar kau ni,aku ramai gak kenal dengan cina,tapi kau macam haram lagi ar kan.tuh lah asyik bagi benda non halal jer kat aku.ingat aku makan piggy ker weh.grrrrrrrrrrr.
depress jer mood aku kan.tadi aku gila sedih now aku dah okay.
si peng wei asyik tanya aku okeh ker tak.aku kalau tak okeh mesti aku taknak cakap ar.
sebab kerja kat sini aku dah tak happy good lucky mcm dulu.bongoknyer company.
lantaklah aku nak cakap aperkan,aku nak apply cuti raya pon nak cut gaji aku.weh 300 tuh ingat tak banyak ker untuk cuti 2hari.melampau gila...
lepas tuh sebab jer dengar si shirley tuh.memang gile jahat shirley tuh pasal kau aku tak dapat permenant plus aku kene warning letter.

*suhana hamdan*
apa kata kau tolong aku letak tikus dalam beg boss aku.geram plak aku ni ha.

harap-harap cepat ar aku dapat kerja baru.buang penat masa dan tenaga aku jer kerja sini,tapi orang tak hargai.melampau-lampau bila aku senyap pijak kepala.
shirley tuh memang nak kene hentak dengan aku ni,hari tuh aku dah bagi warning kat dia nak lagi usik aku,salah orang ar shirley kau nak kenekan aku.

*shirley lie*
aku rase kau tak hebat lagi sebab kau tak dapat buat aku berenti.sebba tuh kau bengang kan?kalau cikgu yang aku tak suke dulu boleh kene berenti sebab aku,setakat kau,lebih dari tuh boleh aku buat.

pasal kerja kat sini,aku selalu tertekan,naik mental aku.

*arifin ramli aka ipin*
sorry hari tuh aku emo jangan terasa dengan aku babe,aku time tuh jiwa kacau dengan tekanan macam ni..

lepas ni korang tengok ar aku ajar korang cukup-cukup.tak guna bagi muka.melampau.
kalau boleh nak langgar musuh2 aku dengan train

Saturday, August 21, 2010

ehh biarlah

tahu tak aku rasa apa hari ni?
aku rasa macam nak lari sekuat hati sebab aku happy...............
jangan tanya kenapa,aku kedekot nak cerita sebab aku dah berapa lama tak happy kan.
buat kata mak aku janganlah kedekot.

when i woke up this morning i feel like princess who waiting for the price charming.
dah-dah fara jangan kau nak berangan.ikshhh.kau ingat ni cite cinderella ker?ataupon cita barbie.hahahaha.

aku suka satu lagu ni dari bittersweet-perfect match.
suhana bagi kat aku.

ouh lupa nak kenalkan aku ada sorang kawan baru nama dia suhana hamdan,nama glamer dia ana. rase nak jer aku nyanyi lagu kat dia-keroncong untuk ana.
bila aku tengok dia teringat diri aku yang lama,dia ni gila cool okeh.aku suke kawan dengan dia,sebab dia baik,tak mengelabah,cakap ikot suke.dan dia adalah seorang kawan yang caring.bertuah saper dapat kawen dgn ko ana.hahahaha

dahlah masa untuk tido. i love bantal busuk

Friday, August 20, 2010


hari ni banyak kali aku pujuk mata aku jangan sedih jangan menangis sebab aku tahu penat dia tahan dari menangis,ipin kau cepatlah sehat k.aku tak happy ipin skrg.
aku tak happy.
manusia kat luar tuh semua kejam ipin.semua sakitkan hati aku,ingat aku takder perasaan ke?aku ada perasaan tapi diorang tak pernah peduli perasaan aku.
diorang pentingkan diri,sampai aku pon diorang lukai.

aku tak happy dengan life aku.
manusia kenapa kau kejam?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

cukup sudah

hari ini aku kaku bila nampak kamu.
kenapa?kerana aku suka kamu.
hari ini aku resah tanpa arah.
kenapa?kerana kamu tidak dapat aku cari.
hari ini aku rasa kehilangan kamu.
kenapa?kerana kamu tiada didepan mataku untuk disentuh.

suatu hari, saat aku sedang berjalan disebelah kamu,
kamu tahu betapa aku suka mencuri pandang wajah kamu.
supaya suatu hari aku tidak lupa rupa yang aku sayang.
aku melihat kamu sebagai ciptaan terindah.
indahnya kamu bila senyum.
jangan senyum melirik hatiku,
aku takut aku jatuh cinta pada kamu.

saat aku berjalan dibelakang kamu,
aku cuba menghampiri kamu,
tapi aku takut kamu tidak menyukainya.
aku kehadapanmu, memotong langkahmu.
tapi kamu menarik tangan ku lalu dipegang erat.

aku cuba lihat pada mata kamu. mencari jawapan yang aku tidak pasti.
tanganku masih erat digengam kamu.
tapi sayang, jawapan yang aku cari tidak aku ketemui.
aku pujuk hati diri, supaya jangan terlalu mengharapkan kamu.

tanya aku pada perasaan sendiri, adakah kamu merindui aku?
adakah kamu sayang aku?

tapi sayang,
kamu membalasnya dengan ego.
tahukah kamu bahawa aku sedang tunggu sesuatu dari kamu?
dan aku masih menunggu..
tapi kamu hanya senyap membisu

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


today is my bad day,
i hate this year and i won't remember this year.
she was the one who really like to insult my intelligence and influence me with a stupid facts.
do something not relevant.
i try to put myself away from this bad things.
i never regret with my decision.
i was the one who really to be her nightmare.
i promise you, i will be your nightmare, every night in your life.
you are not deserve to judge me and do you think that you are a good enough.
no i don't think so.
you just pretend in front of people.
believe or not i hate the way you scold me, i hate when you like to remains me for many time to time.
i hate this year and still hate this year.
you are my ghost and i'm your nightmare.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

jangan pandang-pandang?

selamat pagi matahari,
hari ni aku masuk office pukul 10 pagi,penat gila aku hari ni,
sahur tadi aku muntah gila-gila,tak tahu kenapa sejak akhir-akhir ni susah nak terima makanan dalam badan aku.
aku asyik pening jer ouh.
penat kerja lagi.kadang-kadang tuh nak je rasa nak resign kerja sini,tapi malangnya aku takder backup kerja lagi so tak boleh ar resign kan.
serious cakap aku semenjak kerja sini, memang sangat stress ar,sampai berat aku turun melampau.
ni puasa dah one week aku punya badan lagi susut.
selalu puasa-puasa yang lepas aku mesti melantak tak hingat dunia,pastuh buka puasa minum air nak gelas besar siap ada ais-ais berbagai.
now aku buka puasa, makan kuih 2-3 ulas dengan nescafe panas aku dah kenyang.
kalau makan lebih jer mulalah aku loya nak muntah.
dah macam orang pregnant plak aku ni,
orang pregnant pon tak macam aku.
hari ni sejuk gila lat office,kulit aku kering gila,muka aku dah start pucat, badan sakit-sakit.kaki aku dari tadi asyik kejang jer.pantang sejuk asyik kejang.
selamat aku tak kekejangan otak.
tadi waktu nak pergi kerja dalam train ada dua orang mamat poyo ni,bagi aku poyo lah cos mengelabahkan?
sebok pandang-pandang aku,pastuh sengih-sengih.
aku memang tak suke orang pandang aku..
cos dalam otak aku mesti aku fikir..

"baju aku tak okeh ker?ker muka aku macho sangat sampai nak pandang2"???

temanya jangan pandang2 nanti termakan libas dr aku.
aku penat sangat ar beberapa hari ni.
nak jer aku send suratr esign and then bercuti dekat tempat-tempat yang tenang.

ok sila angkat kaki saper nak join aku bercuti??
aku otak tak boleh fikir ni..
sebelom ipin send aku ke tanjung rambutan.
ahaks..ipin gila!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010


arghhhh.okeh2 aku praktis jerit sebab aku stress gile kerja.
lepas tuh si peng wei tak habis2 usik aku.budak ni memang nak kene hentak dgn aku ni.
beberapa hari ni jiwa aku agak kacau sedikit, al maklumlah kerja pon stress.
duit pon tak ramai..nak jer aku nyanyi lagu. i want to be a billionaire so fucking bad,hahahahha.

aku bosan dah dengan life aku yang takder meaningful ni.
nak something yang baru.
kata kak emy, kenapa blog aku sekarang jiwang dan sedih2.ini disebabkan aku mengalami ganguan emosi disebabkan faktor orang yang disekeliling aku.
yelah aku pon bosan dengan diri aku yang baru ni.
aku rindu diri aku yang lama.

dah lah fara kau tak payah nak sedih2.
saper fuck pasal life kau,kau libas jer orang tuh balik.
don't give a damn.
erti kata lain..
kalau orang menyebok life kita,kita sebok balik life orang tuh.

to arifin ramli,
weh bebanyak time kasih sebab kau sellau ada waktu aku sedih,nangis mcm orang gila,pastuh psycho mcm mak lampir,but u still be my good friend.

to kak emy,
thanx sedarkan fara,kalo tak still nak jiwang2 sedih.hahahhaha

to monoroyos aka fazelan,
ekau memang terbaik dr ladang,den suko jo kalo ko ado dengan den.samo jo gilo.

to arif dahalan,
kau makhluk tuhan paling sexy dan paling aku syg,
hugs untuk kau cos kau aku patut bg awards.

to yem,
thanx lah sebab kau buat aku happy walaupon kadang-kadang kau ni cakap main straight to ampang point.

to myself,
fara congrats cos finally u find ur true self.

ada aku kesah dengan korang?hahahha

aku dan tuhanku

dalam diam, aku mencuri waktu.
membiaskan cahayanya menusuk jiwaku.
rindu ku padamu tuhan.
biar berelok-elok aku mengatur langkah.
sujudku padamu.

aku dan tuhanku,
dengan namamu yang maha pemurah lagi maha penyayang,
cintamu tidak pernah kurang, tapi ditambah kasihmu.
tuhanku, mungkin ini bukan yang pertama.
saat aku mengharungi waktumu.
telah kau titipkan doa para malaikat.

ketika malam aku menunggu dengan tabah,
witirmu sesudah salam akhir.
tuhan, jangan biar ramadhan itu pergi,
nanti aku akan merindu,
singkatnya berganti waktu.

sedang saat aku menunggu subuhmu.
melihat aku pada erti syukur.
tuhan indahnya cinta kamu

saat aku sedang bersujud...

Sunday, August 15, 2010

be with you

if one day i ask u to be mine?

can you?

I wanna be with you..

I just wanna be with you..

Just to be with you.


you're special and you still..


Thursday, August 12, 2010

hari ni dalam sejarah

hari ni tak berapa baik cos si wayne telah terdeleted file projek dalam pc aku.paling sedih takder back up broooo.
aku punyalah marah dengan sedih lagi.adoiii.aper lah malang hari ni,dengan kaki aku luka lagi.
aku memang sedih gile lah tak payah cakap satu-satu cos aku sekarang rasa macam nak nangis jer.adoiii.
fara stop thinking!!
i cannot stop to thinking cos lots of problem in my life.
arghhh macam ni aku boleh gila tahu takkkkk.
rase mcm nak terjun bangunan pon ada,nak gigit orang pon ada.
fara oh fara kesian ko.
aperkes dengan kau hari ni.
jangan tanya cos hari ni hari palat sedunia.
boleh tak aku nak resign dr kerja sini?
penat gile layan kerenah manusia yang tak faham2 bahasa ni.

arifffffffffffffffffffffff dahalannnnnnnnnnn
malam ni jom jumpa aku,rindu kat kau.
at least ada kau takderlah gila aku.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I write for myself,with a part of me doesn't know how to leave, how to say goodbye for those moments that strike me in the middle of the night, for the stories that are patiently waiting to get out of my head.

But today i'm woke up with a thousand questions of my life.

I seek to hide myself behind shadows and light, and it is your choice to pick and choose between the lines, to attempt to fish out the truth behind the fiction.

I wonders silently..

I miss you because you've changed.

he just not that into you..

there's nothing to say the day he left.
there's nothing words can change your mind towards me.
O my heart, impossible my destiny was change again.
he left me..
he left me..
he left me again..

he just not that into you my dear.
pity with your heart.
he doesn't know your feeling.
he doesn't know..
and he don't want to know.

don't come to me.
please go away my dear love.
you makes me feel sad when i start to fall in love.

don't makes me hurt.
but your promise will kill me slowly.
your heart not for me.

my glass is full with blood and half with my anger.
you are not for me.
you are not for me my dear.
you leave me..

can you see i stand alone?
without eyes of your heart
without you..
without you..

you kill my feeling..
no ones know

Thursday, August 5, 2010

no title

we read the whole story about life,
one day you start to write but your writing influence your mind.
the day is past with a feast of joy,
but today you live with regret.

before you wake up,i was realised something.
that you are not mine even though my heart still with you.

i still stick with you even though i never know the end of this story.

do you know what the title for this life?


one day someone telling me the truth about love,
he said " he's afraid one day he lost someone that he really care".
and he said again he doesn't know what the meaning of love.
because he never know his feeling.

i give him the answer.

love comes unseen, you cannot touch love,
but you can feel love by your heart.

do you get it?

but he still thinking *

Sunday, August 1, 2010


semalam saat aku melihat kau senyum gembira, tahukah engkau bahawa dalam hati aku sebaliknya, aku cuma berasa seperti patung yang tidak bernyawa,boneka yang kau main bila ketika kau sedang bosan.

kelmarin saat aku melihat kau didalam keadaan pasrah, tahukah engkau bahawa aku berdiri dibelakang takbir berdiri erat memahami kamu. saat kau gembira aku dilupakan.

hari ini saat aku melihat kau sedang sibuk, tahukah engkau yang aku sedang memberi kamu ruang dan masa untuk bernafas di udara. saat kau lapang aku tidak engkau ingati.

tadi saat aku melihat kau sedih, tahukah engkau hati ku juga menangis kesedihan kamu.
saat kau ketawa kembali, aku tidak kau palingkan wajah.

lalu, aku membentuk suatu ilusi yang tepat pada ukuran wajah kamu.
yang aku bukanlah untuk dihargai tapi didatangi ketika kamu didalam kesedihan.
mungkin engkau juga lupa, yang aku mempunyai nafas, sedang berdengupnya jiwa untuk kamu, sedang kamu sibuk melayan dunia.
kamu lupa bahawa aku juga diciptakan sebagai M.A.N.U.S.I.A.
yang punya hati tapi tidak dilihat,
yang punya jiwa tapi tidak diendah.
waktu engkau sudah bahagia,
aku hanyalah boneka untuk kamu.

*sungguh aku tertawa dalam kesedihan*
kerana aku bodoh

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

ingatan tentang kamu

mungkin ini bukan yang terakhir aku rindu kamu, aku buka lembaran kertas yang pernah kau banggakan.

"indahkan lukisan ni?siap ada kata-kata sweet lagi", bisik seorang lelaki.

mungkin itu kali terakhir aku mendengar kau bersorak dengan kegirangan, lalu aku mula mengeluh dan sedikit kecewa. aku mengambil langkah tapi bukan langkah kehadapan, tapi aku mengundur kebelakang.
hampanya aku pada hari ni. sedang aku sibuk mengejar waktu.
kau muncul dalam ingatan. aku sedang menepuk-nepuk dada, memiatkan minda dari ingatan tentang kamu.
sungguh aku rindu cinta kamu.

sedang acap kali aku membuka diari dulu, kini tiada lagi waktu untuk membukanya.
kerana didalamnya terhasil kisah kau dan aku.
mungkin aku pernah menjadi seorang wanita yang kau puja dulu tapi tidak lagi kini.
kau buang aku jauh, kau padam aku dari ingatan.
kadangkala naluri itu kejam terhadap hidup.
adakah buta matamu? saat kau memilih dia?
tangisinya aku pada saat aku ditinggalkan.
kau membuat aku tergantung tanpa jawapan ya atau tidak.
tapi hanya bisu yang kau berikan.

mungkin ini kali terakhir aku merindui kamu, kerana tiada lagi kenangan yang perlu diingati. memang saat dengan kamu itu indah.
memiliki kamu umpama syurga,
menyakiti aku bagaikan neraka..

hari ini mungkin aku masih lagi menyebut namamu pada hembusan nafasku.
mungkin esok, kau tidak akan lagi menemuiku.

jangan pernah menyesal


mencintai kamu bukanlah satu dosa..

lalu aku terbang bersama malaikat..

jangan pernah kau rindu aku..

aku gila

hari ni besday tressie yang ke 38, aku penat gila dahlah kene marah dengan tressie.
tapi takper aku hadapi semua ni dengan senyuman.
penat gila aku sampai aku muntah2 dari tadi and then aku sampai pening2.memang tak larat ar aku.busy keje dari pagi tadi.
sabtu ni ada photoshoot dgn kak siti
just bengang gaji aku bulan ni lambat nak dapat.
dahlah aku nak sambung wat kerja ni lagi.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Don't know why

i'm slowly falling from my life. but for this time no ones know my heart stop breathin.

can you leave me alone?

i was the one who really want to be alone.
nobody knows.
or knowing something.

ignorance is become cruel when people arounds you hurt your feeling.
but sometimes people do not understand until one day when it's gone.
it can be truth when sadness influence our life.

i'm just a soul whose intention sometimes are good.
as a human i also make a mistake.
i like to forgive and forget.

i'm depressed until i wonder how i would always say that i'm okay.
but my heart always said "i'm lying".
i don't know why?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


mood yang sedang ada dalam diri, marah, geram, sedih, rasa give up pon ada.
tahlah untuk minggu ni mood tak baik.
jangan tanya kenapa,tapi memanglah sangat tak baik

Monday, July 19, 2010


hari ini dalam sejarah..
chewaaah ayat sumpah nak power rangers~
okeh2 dimulakan dengan bismillah buat kata lagu raihan kan.

pagi yang gelap kini sudah terang ...
bangun lambat sebab semalam overdose termakan ubat and then dengan muka innocent masuk office pukul 9pagi.temanya aku dah lambat sejam sebenarnya.
tataulah kenapa sejak beberapa hari ni nafsu makan aku mak ai tuhan jer lah tahu cos aku macam kuat melantak gila-gila.

sampai jer kat opis, mulakan pagi dengan minum nescafe~
dan kau ku tahu~nescafe open up open up.
*tetibe teringat iklan nescafe pulak*

tadi agak serabut cos tak faham dengan sistem filing ni.
maka bermulalah permainan baling file2 diawangan~

sebenarnya aku dah bosan kerja kat sini, sebab aku tak bole hidup dalam dunia yang senyap.maka kenalah beramai-ramai.
sumpah aku sangat selekeh hari ni pergi kerja.
dengan muka macam nak mintak pijak.

okeh2 aku rindu kau arif dahalan.sebabnya dah 2minggu tak jumpa kau.

p/s:masa untuk memerah otak untuk mem filing system yang ada.
sumpah tak best.

Sunday, July 18, 2010


Hari ni

baru saya sedar

yang selama ni

saya sedang jatuh

saat awak melangkah


the story about you

this is the story about you. I can still remember when the first time i met you.
you are quiter since our first met. there was a time that i've been scolded by you. you scolded me because i hate take my medicine. i still counting and today i still has my bad fever.

we met again for the second time, but that day you waiting for me with ur smile face even thought that time i was blur. But you start to worried.
you try to hold my hand but unfortunately i try to distance from you and walk away from you. you said that you never give up and then before we buy a movie ticket you hold my hand, but i feel something different when you hold me tight.
perhaps, you feel the same way but you're like to be unpredictable.
your feeling said it was nice when hold my hand.
but i'm curious. can you feel what i feel now?

and after that, you said we will be going a place for dinner but we go with your whole family. for the first time i met your family. your mom really like to asked me.
but i just answer it with my cool feeling. that is how your family try to knowing me.

each place has it's own the first time i met you. my heart still there.
but this place and it's sound reminds me of everything that happened then.
that is how i try to remember all these memory with you.

Now, i'm looking at you and you're looking at me and i really hope you've got a fantastic view because i find you to be most lovely, indeed.
if i can choose i want to turn back the time that you hold my hand.
but i know you trying not to show your feeling towards me.

what i'm going to do when you leave?

come after you..

Friday, July 16, 2010

the day

dear moon,

today i wish the day is not coming.
but my mistake is i'm too hope to be happy.

dear star,

i feel empty as a drum,
looking for something undone.
my feast of joy is but a dish of pain.

dear sunshine,

I looked for life and i saw it was a shade.
and now i live, and now my life is done.

i'm curious..

why people comes and people go?
until the day is past, and yet i saw no sun.

step by step i try to forget and never regret,
but i just saw the world and yet i was no seen.

i take a deep breath until one day i realize,
no one can i believe
because people like to hurt me..

please leave me alone....

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

oh khayalanku

aku geram betol hari ni semua perasaan ada.
aku sabar jer ni tapi kesabaran aku ni dah tak boleh disukat menggunakan silinder penyukat.
aku bengang cos dapat surat warning dari office kat sabah.
palatnye shirley!!!
kenapalah aku boleh bekerja dengan orang bodoh macam dia.
memanglah kau macam bagus sangat kan?
kau telah membuatkan mood aku macam FCUK
dalam erti kata lain what the fish!!!!
dahlah aku hari ni demam teruk kau boleh hantar email bangang2.
hey kau itu hanyalah seekor kuman okeh.
dan kau jangan berangan nak jadi rama-rama.
gila marah aku sampai rasa macam nak hentak dia jer.

mood; tak boleh blar rasa nak ketuk kepala minah tersebut dengan gitar kapok ku.huh~


There will be many things that i will ask for, in these times of uncertainty and tenuousness. What our heart must know?

How do I not miss you?

because i will always love you.

Did u know why i always looking for you when you suddenly silence from me.
Because i want to be there with you.
I'm afraid you was crying alone and no ones with you.
Words come easily, but action do not always match up to the thing you should say.
I will ask a lot of you, and I expect a lot of you.

but today..
I wondered why this day had to come.

The addiction is all consuming like i'm addicted with you.
there was no reason to like you.

i wonders silently.
cannot say
I really miss you in these moment of the night.

And then he disappreared..

special for asylla collection

thanx to syahrul yaacob and syahrin yaacob =)
photoshoot at putrajaya
for baju kurung asylla collection 2010

Monday, July 12, 2010


sewaktu langit masih lagi terang, kamu berjanji akulah seindah karyamu.
menerangi kamu ketika kelam.
tapi tidak lagi kini wahai adam,
kau menutup kegelapan dalam diam,
kau hujahkan pula kata-kata perit.

suatu hari cahaya datang kembali,
menginjak bumi yang hijau..
liku beloknya tidak lurus,
tapi bengkoknya mengikut arus..

kasihnya aku pada kamu,
belainya aku pada kamu.
tapi dibalas khianati kau terhadap khilafku..

wahai adam,
kau sedang khianati cahayaku.
saat kau lupa aku.
aku menangis bersama para malaikat.
sudah kau lupakan aku sebagai penciptamu.
setelah kau aku ciptakan sebagai lelaki.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

kepada kamu yang aku rindu

kepada kamu yang aku rindu,
hari ni mungkin yang keberapa kali aku melihat kamu disebalik potret.
dengan harapan kamu juga ingat pada aku.

kepada kamu yang aku rindu,
mungkin tidak seperti dulu kita bersama.
tiada lagi tawa riang dan kesedihan teriakmu.
tapi tidak pernah lekang mengingati senyuman kamu.

kepada kamu yang aku rindu,
waktu kau pergi setelah merajuk membawa diri.
hari itu telah aku lupa yang aku sedang ego.
kemarahan aku menyebabkan aku rindu kamu sekarang.

kepada kamu yang aku rindu,
kau tiada lagi disisi,
tapi ingatan tetap sentiasa disemadikan
dibenak hati yang ditanam sedalam dalamnya.

kepada kamu yang aku rindu,
mengenali kamu suatu anugerah.
menyayangi kamu bagaikan permata.

kepada kamu yang aku rindu,
aku rindu kamu..

Thursday, July 8, 2010

cinta kamu

ketika aku dalam perjalanan pulang ke office, aku melihat seorang kanak-kanak perempuan memeluk erat teddy bear disebelahnya.ia keseorangan tapi ia tidak mengenal erti takut bersendirian.

setelah membayar tambang bas, aku duduk dibelakang budak tersebut dan akhirnya bas pun berjalan. melihat gelagat budak tersebut aku mengukir senyuman di tengahari ini.
sedang asyik aku melihat telatahnya, tiba-tiba kasut budak perempuan tadi terpelanting dihadapanku.lantas aku mengambilnya dan mengembalikannya pada seorang kontraktor bas.kemudian kontraktor bus memakai kan kembali kasut tersebut pada kanak-kanak tersebut.
ia memeluk kanak-kanak tadi dengan dakapan yang erat walaupun peluh dikeringatnya,
sedang aku asyik mengatakan hidup ini kekurangan,
tapi ada lagi yang kurang bernasib baik dari hidup aku.

lihat dengan mata hati tidak sedalam melihat menggunakan mata kasar.
sebelum aku turun dari bus tersebut kedengaran aku pada bisik sang ibu si kontaktor bus.
"mak cinta kamu"..

*aku menekan loceng dan turun dari bus tersebut*
hari ni aku belajar erti sesuatu yang tak mungkin aku akan lihatnya lagi.

sketch design for yem's house

my first sketch.
fiat loaf
farah sali 2010
rumah untuk yem


baru saya sedar yang segitiga itu belom tentu bucunya sama rata.
hari ni hari tak berapa baik.saya mulakan pagi saya dengan sedikit hampa.dimulakan waktu saya baru bangun dan saya akhiri dengan setiap perjalanan saya yang belum tentu belok-beloknya akan saya tahu.

saya berasa saya ini hanyalah berdiri ditempat yang tinggi dan sedang berteriak melepaskan kemarahan.marah,benci,sakit hati,sedih dan kecewa semua saya sedang rasakan sekarang..
hidup tak semua sama bila diakhiri dengan rasa kesedihan.

baru saya sedar yang saya sedang berlari dan berdiri seorang...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


sketch public building
cross section
farah sali 2010


kelmarin ketika aku sedang memujuk hati,
supaya cuba untuk lupakan kamu.
hati..pujuklah perasaan..
supaya aku sentiasa sedar kau bukan lagi nafasku.
ketika aku sedang belajar hidup tanpa kamu,
aku pentaskan sejarah lalu tanpa nyawa.
sedangkan hakikat itu tidak boleh diubah-ubah.
maka terciptalah suatu bentuk yang aku cuba untuk mengenal.
sedang aku lena dibuai oleh kesibukkan,
tengelam aku dalam kepayahan.
kamu muncul.tapi bukan ini yang kita pinta.
kerana takdir itu b.i.s.u.


semalam ketika aku sedang sibuk mencari barang di dalam almari,aku terjumpa gambar lama lalu ku pegang erat dan gelak sinis aku seketika pabila melihat gambar yang aku tatap begitu lama.

aku masih ingat dibenak fikiranku,gambar ini diambil ketika aku berada di tahun pertama di Unisel dan waktu itu aku sangat sibuk dengan teater.
walaupun orang melihat aku kasar dari jauh sudut tapi sebenarnya mereka alpa yang aku juga mempunyai keinginan sendiri dalam teater.

teater "bagaikan puteri" yang aku olah seperti dalam novel.diunsurkan sajak ketika zaman era majapahit.sukar pada waktu itu bagi aku,dalam erti kata aku terpaksa berlakon teater dan mengarahnya dalam masa yang sama.ketika itu aku sangat tegas,
marahnya aku pada fakrul kerana dia tidak menghayati wataknya sebagai watak utama.
betapa hebatnya fakrul melakonkannya disaat pementasan akhirnya
menhidupkan watak untuk jalan cerita bukan sesuatu yang mudah.

ingat aku pada kata-kata seorang guru,yang mengajar aku,teater bukan suatu drama yang kau pentaskan tapi ia adalah suatu hidup yang kau cuba nyawakannya.
lembarkan nyawanya seperti kau bernafas menghidupkannya.
waktu aku terlalu singkat rasanya..
empat bulan aku aktif untuk menyiapkan satu teater dan akhirnya aku persembahkan dengan rasa "hidupnya manusia dalam cerita"

busy tapi sibuk

dari semalam aku sibuk belak=jar buat sketch design.penat sangat.otak yang penat.
banyak buku aku kene study untuk belajar semua ni..
sabtu ni aku bakal busy sebab abang ayie nak bertunang lepas tuh petang aku ada photoshoot dengan en.syahrul.

badan aku dah start sakit-sakit dah ni,sebab aku tak cukup rehat.penatlah..
ouh kesian kau otak.dah stress tahap gila...

p/s;sabar je lah fara :)

Monday, July 5, 2010


i dOn't bElieve YoU

Sunday, July 4, 2010


today is my busy day with wayne and then i follow him go for site visit.
but i hate it cos today i'm wearing short usually my gothic style.he suddenly asked me to follow him.

this week will become nightmare week for me cos my boss is here and i'm totally busy learn about autocad and then now i have to read collections of architectural renoering in china was suprising cos lots of things i have to know in architectural world.

suddenly i remember my date with yem last was amazing but i'm too shy with him cos this is first time i met him.he looks so handsome with black shirt and jeans. for the first time i introduce myself to yem.
but a little bit frustrated cos my date just 3 hours but i hope for the second date with him.

i like the way he talked with me,the way he's representative himself.
but for now i more carefull in love.
yem told me that he like me but he's afraid to commit.
same goes with me,i learn from the past and more carefull with relationship.
cos people like to hurt my feeling.
i'm agree with arif my bestfriend,he wanna me be friend with yem first and try to know each other.
but sometimes i hate these feeling.
why i have to like someone?
but thanks lord cos you give my feeling back but i'm afraid with this feeling.
yem was a person with a genuine love for humanity, who is humble and kind.

yem do you feel the same way?

Thursday, July 1, 2010


is sitting under my table and I cover my face with my hoodie jacket .theme song for this moment* guris by twickhead*I listening this song with my mOoD: SERABUT @________@

i'm curious? why people likes to take advantage with my life.
do i care when they try to talking something bad about me?
but she pretend~

selamat hari khamis

selamat hari khamis semua =0
tapi khamis kali ni sejuk gila-gila cos semalam seronok main hujan kan.
and then datang keje dengan muka kuyu pastuh pakai baju 4 lapis.dah macam kuih lapis dah..rambut nak style noh hujan je...sebab keluar rumah pagi tadi dah gelap.
macam lagu hujan pagi yang gelap kini sudah terang...

bos pulak masuk keje pukul 5petang.bos time office hour kita 8pagi-5petang yee.
bukan lepas 5petang.
dress up hari ni macam nak pergi gig je..lepas tuh hari ni bosan gila kat office,macam biasa aku makan gaji buta sebab keje semua dah siap.

pagi tadi waktu pegi keje adalah sorang awek ni gila comel siot dengan spec dia lagi,tudung ala2 yuna,pastuh dia bawak kete kancil..
gilalah kau comel okeh...
aku tengok pon 3kali.maaf aku suka tengok pompuan yang cantik dan comel.

mOOd;badan aku sakit sebab semalam sejuk gila mandi hujan =(

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

ich liebe Sie

ich vermisse Sie noch, wenn auch Sie mehr nicht meinig sind.
wissen Sie, wie viel ich Sie vermisse?
erinnern Sie sich an mich, wie ich mich an Sie erinnere?
manchmal w√ľnsche ich, dass ich die Zeit umkehren lassen kann, die Sie sagten, dass Sie mich lieben.

ja tue ich.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


the day before tomorrow* but we smile together*


yesterday wayne discuss with me regarding one project in labuan,sabah. and then he told me that tressie want me to join for this project.On the other hand, she also want me go for this training before i follow for this project.despite, this is not simple things for me cos i still new in architecture world. lots of things i have to learn.

the beggining..
i make a baby step in my life and start to move on from my previous life.
here sabah..i come!!!
i will grab this opportunity and learn something new.
i set on my mind that i never give up...
and for sure after this,i can be a better person..
this is my future and of course i trying do the best for my life.

guys*wish me luck* =)

Monday, June 28, 2010


mOOd; depressed

my life is not like docudrama but it more to reality and elegy
that i cannot describe by words.
I looked for life and saw it was a shade.
I saw the world and yet it is not spun.

and now i live,and now my life is done.
and now I die,and now i was but made.

is not like telegram
unfortunately i wrote for my destiny.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


aku bergelumang dalam lumpur yang dalam,
walau sedalam mana aku memijaknya tapi tidak tersampai setinggi harapan.
harapan yang aku letakkan sejauh utara disana,
yang belum tentu akan sampai walaupun aku berlari sekuat naluri.

apakah takdir itu bisu kemungkinan?
yang mungkin suatu hari akan lenyap oleh rasa tapi belum tentu akan lenyap oleh kata-kata.
indahnya saat aku berasa kau senyum lirik hati.
kakunya aku bila kamu kata kamu rindu aku.
sayang..cinta kamu suatu yang indah.
sedang aku kejar kamu..aku berteriak memangil kamu.
sehingga aku jatuh dipertengahan..aku tetap teguh tidak sesakit luka dikaki.
aku berada dihujung jalan menunggu kamu kali ini.
memegang kata-kata semalam.

mungkin kamu sudah lupa pada kehidupan lepas,
memiliki kamu seperti aku cuba mengapai bintang yang bercahaya.
berpayah aku memetik bintang untuk kamu.
supaya cahayanya terangi hati kamu bila aku tiada..

tidak lagi kamu muncul kali ini,
pantas kamu berkata "t.I.D.A.k".
Jika mencintai kamu adalah satu dosa
Adakah Melukai Aku...
Merupakan Satu Pahala?

Picture by faiz akhbar

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

shOOting sTar

I don’t like some of the choices someone made, well, it was One choices and it kinda says it all. It's like breaking what's been broken. But you just like to see me fall to pieces. Sometimes, I wish I could write about it, or even talk about it with some familiar faces. and i wish ignorance from your heart saying all that you are.

But now there's no turning back..

dear love,
did you finally get to see the one that you wanted to be?

Should if anybody ask about it- what about life that I loathe the most.

It’s the part that I lost, and never getting back. Exactly.

picture by faiz akhbar

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


selamat pagi dunia-hari malas sedunia telah merebak sampai ke hujung dunia.
hahah.ini disebabkan aku malas dan still tak sehat.
badan aku semakin susut disebabkan banyak faktor-fktor yang terancam sehinggakan semalam aku timbang berat aku dah turun lagi 5kg.bila aku congak2 dan kira-kira untuk bulan ni saje aku dah lost dekat 15kg.mak dah bising kata telampau kurus.
aku target nak berat 55kg.hahahahha.memang berani matilah.lagi 5kg lagi nak kene turun.

malam tadi aku tak dapat nak lelap mata entah kenapa lah aku mimpi yang bukan-bukan.
setiap sejam aku bangun after mimpi tuh.
badan aku still sakit-sakit lagi disebabkan aku asyik tak sehat je.its normal for me~

life- aku dah mula bosan kerja disini.aku perlukan sesuatu yang baru.
sampai bila nak macam ni.aku enjoy life aku sekarang dan aku banyak habiskan masa dgn arif after kerja.dia lah kawan baik aku yang paling aku sayang dan yang paling aku percaya.

aku rindukan suasana di cssd tempat aku membesar disana dan belajar erti kekeluargaan.aku rindu razif yang banyak ajar aku erti hidup.bayangkan sampai sekarang aku tak pernah melupakannya.
dari dia aku belajar untuk efficient dari segala bentuk.
tapi tidak bagi disini yang hanya mementingkan kesempurnaan dalam sesuatu tugas,tapi tak mementingkan dari segi mutu dan juga idea.

semoga hari ini lebih baik dari semalam =)

Sunday, June 20, 2010


people please don't makes me hate you,i don't want to know about your feeling cos you also didn't care about my feeling too.i hate when you always says u love me.reminder for you or anyone " please don't fuck with my life".. cos you just waste your time waiting for me.
this reminder for you and anyone who really like to message me or call me. just waste your time, because i really enjoy my life now without you guys.
so please leave me..and go away from my life.
cos i have my own reason.

thank you.

biri-biri 1 2 3

hari ni aku tak berapa nak okay cos mood aku ditempat kerja agaklah sedikit tak betol. pagi-pagi lagi datang je aku tengok wauuu surprise.*dalam hati* banyaknya paperwork?list kerja tak payah cerita bukan mengurang but menambah.
sabar jerlah akukan...jam di pc menunjukkan pukul 2.26petang.lagi 3 paperwork aku tak siap.ikshh aku ni dah sawan ar tengok kerja menimbun.lepas tuh aku rasa macam serius aku nak berhenti kerja..

aku ada masa lagi 8harisebelum permohonan ditutup.nak ker tak accept tawaran belaja ni???
huhuhu..aku sangat kebuntuan.

aktivity di office hari ni ialah membaling file.menconteng-conteng meja dengan hasil seni aku yang memang sengaja aku huraikan dengan emosi.

to raja ibrahim putera aka yem..syg yem lah sebab concern pasal aku..

mood;aku sedang mengira biri-biri 1 2 3....okay masa untuk mencari fail-fail yang sudah aku terbangkan tadi.

Friday, June 18, 2010

abah's house

each place has it's own sound. I can still remember the time i lost my mom. Abah said mom will be going a place far away where she will be love of many.The days after began as usual but not for abah..

he is quiter since mom is gone. I know he was sad but he was trying not to show it.

As i grew up, it seems that i make it harder for abah even how angry he is.
Now,abah is gone.But this place and it's sounds reminds me of everything that hapenned then.

that is how the "archustic" is perceived by everyone.
but only a few that realized it...

abah's house by danial archintosh
multimedia competition for archustic | XXII
architectural workshop 2010
"jury special mention" award winner

I just finish watching this video and it makes me think about myself.
maybe sometimes i has the same feeling like Lan -the character for abah's son.
it makes me realized how lucky i am cos i still have my dad.
sometimes i never appreciated him because of he always scolding me.
but i know what he do it just everything for me.
he want me to be a successful person.
But i was the one who was always argue with him.

*papa never said he love me but i know the truth is he love me more than what he have*

and today i want to says that I really love my dad because he is a my first boyfriend and he's never betray me.
how lucky i am cos i still have Papa.
and now i always remind myself- i don't want hurt papa's feeling.
cos i love him =(

Thursday, June 17, 2010

and i

*busy at office*

and i start searching for a new life.

in my mind- i wish i'm not here


i want to be like you.

can i?

picture by asharah kamarul


saya sedang bicara pada udara.